The one that had a hold on you. The one you longed for. The one whose grip on your heart was tight. The one that you dreamt about. The one you hated yourself for loving–Joan Jett style.
In previous articles, I’ve written about soulmate connections and the seeming magnetism that draws us into lesson after lesson with particular people. Together we’ve explored ways to identify a soulmate connection and how to rise above the ashes when the relationship doesn’t go as we’d once hoped.
As we journey through life, the challenges soulmate connections expose can leave us feeling vulnerable and raw. Insecurities like fear of abandonment and rejection, or painful lessons relating to shame may arise. Sometimes we move through the lessons and find our way back to our soulmate more deeply connected. Sometimes it doesn’t quite work out that way.
5 signs it’s time to let go:
* You feel caught in a loop repeating a familiar frustrating and painful cycle.
* You feel consistently confused, despite attempts at clarity or communication.
* You get ‘derailed’ after you make contact, obsessing or numbing to cope.
* You have hope that they will change, in order to make things OK between you.
* You no longer share the same values.
It’s best to give these dynamics lots of space in a guilt-free zone to sort themselves out. If your soulmate does not bring out the best in you, then you need more time to process what gets exposed between meetings. This allows both parties to move forward and learn lessons without all the grid-lock.
At times, our soulmate is simply no longer a match for us and we may be unsure how to be with each other, even in a friendship capacity. When we choose to disconnect, the loyalty we feel to our soulmate connection can leave us feeling obsessive and guilty.
For anyone in this position, here is a gentle reminder to have compassion for yourself and go easy. Nothing is wrong if two people grow apart. It’s safe to let go. In fact, disconnection can be the healthiest option, even when you still love someone. Honoring the disconnection process can bring forth the entrance of an even bigger love.
If we are meant to travel together, nothing will keep us apart for too long. Trust that an enriching connection with our soulmate will re-emerge when the time is right.
Remember, making space is not about pushing away, judging or condemning. It’s about stopping the exhaustive cycle of trying too hard, and just letting go…if only for now. When someone leaves our life, space and energy are freed up so that we can identify and connect with those who are a better fit for us. When we sit in our newfound space and start living our deepest values, our self-esteem rises and really good things start happening!