
Dealing with anger and frustration
Dealing with anger and frustration
Have you ever been so frustrated that you felt your head might literally explode?
Jaw clenched, shoulders tight, and pressure rising as you feel like breaking something, cursing or screaming.
Some jerk cut you off in traffic and almost caused a giant accident. Your computer crashed after months of working on (and not backing up) a major project. You have tried and tried to make it work, but you just can’t figure “it” out. Perhaps you were disrespected, betrayed, misunderstood or ignored. Things were piling up, and this was the last straw, leaving you angry and frustrated.
Let’s explore where your frustration stems from and learn how to transmute it so you can receive its gifts and experience smooth sailing again.
What exactly is frustration?
Frustration is the feeling that arises when we perceive resistance to the fulfillment of our will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the greater the frustration.
Frustration is an issue that many of the powerhouse visionaries I coach deal with on an ongoing basis. For high achievers who live for accomplishment, learning to manage frustration is a must. Frustration can be internal or external. Internal frustration arises from challenges in fulfilling personal desires or needs, or when dealing with our own perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of confidence or weakness. External frustration is caused by conditions like traffic jams or waiting in a long line.
While coping with frustration, people either exhibit aggression (toward self or others) or passive–aggressive behavior, a more indirect response, which can come in the form of stubbornness, procrastination, sarcasm or resentment.
Have you ever felt the prickly energy in a room after a fight?

Dealing with anger and frustration
The biochemical effects of frustration on the body are enormous. Cortisol (stress hormone) levels rise along with our blood pressure. In a study done at Stanford, when patients were recalling incidents that made them mad, the pumping efficiency of their hearts dropped 5-10 percent!
When we feel this powerful energy moving inside us, it can feel as if it is coursing through our blood, and our face may even redden, visibly underscoring how inflamed we are.
On top of the health risks associated with inflammation, those dealing with frustration are also at risk of forming addictions. In my practice, I have found that many people struggling with alcoholism have repressed frustration and often tend to also have liver function issues. In essence, addictive behaviors, which harm us emotionally and physically (i.e., our livers), release a bit of the drive in us that seeks punishment. Have you ever heard stories about people who are “cutters?” This is one of the mechanisms at play.
Just as with disappointment, from an emotional-energetic perspective, frustration is a state that is not in harmony with that which we desire.
Emotional expert Karla McClaren speaks about frustration as being a type of anger, the intention of which is to help you set proper boundaries and maintain healthy detachment. With boundaries and healthy detachment, we can experience greater self esteem and a sense of honor.
She proposes these questions as a pathway to understanding: What must be protected?
What must be restored? When you consider these questions, you are more likely to get to the root of your frustration and from there can remedy it. One challenge when dealing with frustration is the tendency to assign blame. At the time of trigger, blame seems quite rational. Unfortunately, our blame will only distract us from uncovering our truth and communicating it effectively. But, for those who are willing to take responsibility and train their minds, frustration can be transmuted into one of the most sacred and powerful change-making energies. Judgment and Attachment are the main ingredients of frustration. (Notice a trend?) In fact, watch how easily we can plug the word frustration in place of disappointment from last month’s piece. When we judge something as less than desirable and unworthy of our acceptance, we box that thing in with our thoughts to help us maintain the illusion of our control over it. We become imprisoned by our own thoughts, and as we fight what is unfolding, we tie ourselves up even further. More judgment means more frustration, which makes for a tinier prison. On the contrary, as we release, forgive and “take nothing personal,” ease sets in, we feel spacious and doors begin to open again.
Releasing Frustration and Cultivating Gratitude with Hyp Keys
Hyp Keys are formulated to expand your awareness by incorporating subconscious friendly communication into a MEPS format.
What are MEPS? MEPS is an acronym. It stands for Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual. These are nuggets of goodness that you can begin applying immediately.
M – Challenge the thoughts that are triggering frustration. When dealing with other people, manage your expectations, assumptions and understand that what is being directed at you is not personal. From there, speak your truth and ponder appropriate corrective actions. Mantra: All is exactly as it should be. I now separate myself from any situation that does not allow me to express my power.
E – Work your way up the emotional scale toward gratitude, which is the remedy to all forms of anger. If you can’t quite feel grateful right off the bat, no worries, start at compassion. Imagine feeling a softening around your heart and tell yourself how sorry you are that you are feeling so stuck. This can soften the frustration just enough so that it can be released.
P – If you feel like pacing, take it outside. Breathe out the ‘fire’. Move your body and stimulate your senses with some music and aromatherapy. I like rose or lavender oil, which happen to have the perfect healing vibration to shift frustration and anger. Check out this track for some compassion inducing audio Kuan Yin
S – Simply perform an act of service. To anyone, for any reason! This builds compassion and releases us from the grip of self-focus. And, as a bonus, try nonsense. Crack a joke about the frustrating situation or watch a comedy. As Hermann Hesse said: “Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest.”
Blessings to all you mind training mood masters out there!
Get ready because next month is devoted to dismantling worry!
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